I was able to do something incredible today;
I was able to stop and smell the flowers.
Things have been crazy for me lately. No time for sleep, laundry, eating properly, studying, yoga, cleaning – anything! Today was the first time in a good few weeks that I was able to take a breather, and what a wonderful (and productive!) thing that was. I didn’t even realize how chaotic things were for me! I didn’t realize what a disaster my room was or how much food there is in my fridge that I could be eating instead of eating out. I had forgotten what a downward dog felt like and how much I actually enjoy studying Spanish! But in the midst of all of this chaos I’ve realized how much I’m enjoying everything that is keeping me busy. I’m the happiest I’ve been since getting back from Asia.
A lot has changed for me in the month of May. A LOT. I’m calling May my transition month. All these new things happening, all these things changing, and as a result a little bit of chaos and madness. Today I feel an opening with the start of this new month. Here, sitting in my newly cleaned room with my incense and candles burning, my fresh clean sheets, my laundry done and some outfits set out for the next couple of days, with many things crossed of my to-do list and a huge chunk of Spanish accomplished, I am able to relax and see with some clarity. I can settle down into my new routine and accomplish all that I can.
First of all this month, I’ve started working full time with Secure Energy Services. I can’t say that I’ve ever worked a full time job like this. This is a 8-5 x 5 days a week kinda deal – and I’m loving it! It’s wonderful having that routine, having to be somewhere every day and being rewarded in so many different ways for being there. This past week I went to ‘Secure School’ where I learnt all the different things that this company does. My mind was blown!!!! There is so much going on in this company, so many things that need to happen for a company to be so successful – and successful this company is. This company and every one who is part of it is truly an inspiration. The biggest thing that stood out to me that day at ‘Secure School’ was the values of the company: “treat others the way we want to be treated, trusting and trustworthy, respect for each other, inspire and motivate, commitment, risk taking and continuous improvement, balance, passion, positive energy and optimism, success, work smart, have fun, integrity, high moral principal and ethics, shared understanding and acceptance, turn goals into actions, engaged and focused”. The list goes on. The point is though, that this all goes hand in hand with the life I’m trying to create for myself.
A couple of weeks ago I applied for my first year classes at the U of C. (Yahoo!) I am thrilled with the classes I have picked and I cannot wait to start!! I can’t believe how excited I am about this, but I am so excited that I’m going to be taking these classes: An anthropology class (The Nature of human society), a geology class (I can’t believe I caved for my sister.), a religious studies class (Introduction to eastern religions – the class I really wanted isn’t available this year but this will be great too!) and an introduction to woman’s studies. These are all things that I am so interested in and care deeply about… well except for the geology class. (Sorry Jilly!) I’m only taking four classes a semester in my first year, and my schedule for the fall semester only has me at school 2 full days a week, and one evening! This is great because I’ll still be able to work a bit.It’s hard to believe that 6 months ago I was so opposed to going to school this fall. But here I am and I couldn’t be more happy about it. (Sorry, mom and dad! But I still won’t say “You were right”!)
I’m about a third of the way done my Spanish course, which I am really quite enjoying but have been slacking on the past couple of weeks. That’s going to change though because I’m hoping to get the course done as soon as I can! Sometimes I regret making the choice to take the course this summer, like when I’m too tired after work (or at work when I work the occasional shift at the doctors office) to study or when I’m wanting to spend my few free weekend days to do anything other than study! But all in all, I know I’m going to be glad I did this. Plus it’s really fun to know a little bit of another language!
I’ve really been slacking with my yoga practices unfortunately, but this upcoming week I have 3 classes (!!!!) scheduled. It’s hard to balance so many different things when you’re so busy, but my body is hating me a little bit and craving some major stretching. I know that my mind is also needing a place to escape and find calmness and a place of peace. But even though I haven’t been as committed to this as I would really like to, I still have kept my mind and heart open and I’ve been able to keep the positive, peaceful mentality that yoga allows me to have.
With so much going on, I haven’t been able to read as much as I would like to – a little here and there on the train to work and back at most – but this past week I’ve found a wonderful solution. Some of the tasks that I do at work don’t really require a lot of brain power and sometimes I get a little bit sleepy. Earlier this week I had the great idea of listening to Dane Cook while doing some of these tasks! It was great, kept me awake and made the day go by quickly. But after a day or so of that I felt as though his inappropriate (but funny!) humour was starting to kill off some of my brain cells. I had to come up with a better solution – and I did! I’ve started listening to audio books!! I’m so thrilled that I’ve started doing this.
The most important thing that has changed for me the past while has been the crowd that I am surrounding myself with. It’s actually been a pretty difficult month in regards to this. Some pretty important people have left my life. This didn’t really happen the best way that it could have, but I think it was exactly what needed to happen. I think that people come into other’s lives for reasons and when whatever it was that the universe needed to happen, happens, they need to leave. No matter where we are now doesn’t change all the great times we shared, all the love and the support, the laughter and the love.
Even though there have been some pretty big “goodbyes”, there have been many “hellos”. I am finding myself in friendships with exactly the people I want in my life. I have never felt so great about the friendships I’ve created, and more just seem to keep coming. These are with people who are so positive, intelligent, loving, supportive, encouraging, kind-hearted, open-minded, hilarious, generous, and simply just amazing. It’s enlightening having people like this around. And I find it amazing how having these kinds of people around can have such positive affects on me. I think nothing but good is going to come from being surrounded with such wonderful human beings.
I feel like this past month so many things have fallen apart so that better things can come together. I’ve needed to have this little bit of chaos to figure out the things I need to prioritize and the things that I don’t! I’ve needed to do without some things to realize how much I actually do need them -and vise versa. Right where I am is right where I am supposed to be. I haven’t had much time to think or process the things that I’ve been doing or the people in my life, but now that I have it feels like I had momentarily and unintentionally forgot about the Universe and the bigger things that are going on. But now that I have regained my composure I can see clearly that there is nothing other than exactly what is happening that needs to be happening- I was just unable to be aware of it for a short time. But here I am, happy and content, prepared to return to the journey of bettering myself, body and mind, do good in the community (whatever sense of community that might end up being) working towards the important things in my life and being mindful of each small step.