It’s late, and I should be sleeping. But instead, I’m writing – something I’ve been doing a lot of lately. I’ve been reading, and writing, and thinking about what to write next, or how I felt about the things I’ve recently read. I’ve had work to do, tests to study for, papers to write, real life things to take care of. But I have not been able to prioritize anything but my writing.
Recently I was given an opportunity for getting my writing out there, into a place of like-mindedness, into a place where more people would be able to read the things I have to say. I’ve been so excited about this, but so hesitant to believe it to be true. I’ve been dubious and therefore I’ve tried to not have expectations, but rather patience. Whether or not this works out how I am hoping, I think it’s been a total blessing for me. It’s really pushed me to reach into myself, into the place that I’ve been neglecting. I’m referring to that place within me where the words can so effortlessly flow from, if I let them.
A few years ago when I found this place, it erupted with emotion, stories, expression. I absorbed the happenings around me, and I expelled my perspective of it all. While travelling, this was easy. There was so much happening, so much that I was experiencing, so much that I was feeling. There was so much that I could write about. When I arrived back home I continued to experience a lot, this time the ‘happenings’ were internal. A lot of personal growth was happening, and I wrote about it all. But the more time that passed, the more I became caught up in life. I went about my days not contemplating, I went about my days unquestioning. I started school and instead of taking the time to write for myself, I was busy reading textbooks, attending lectures, writing papers. Although I have kept writing a little bit here and there, it’s been nothing like what it used to.
So with the potential for this new opportunity, there has also come a light shining so brightly into that part of me where these words originate. It’s encouraged me to write. To read. To brainstorm. To re-read the things I have read.
It amazes me how much writing has changed my life. How much writing has changed me. It is truly how I express myself, how I learn from myself, about myself. It is how I work through my problems, how I stay positive, how I find solutions. I read over my posts from the past few years and I find myself saying ‘oh I love that’ or ‘oh that is so beautiful‘, just as I do to other people’s writing. I don’t know why that amazes me so much, the appreciation for my own words, but it truly does.
No matter what happens here, my re-ignited passion for writing is a blessing.